Hi Silverhorner's!
Welcome back to the other side of the mountain.
In keeping with our Silverhorn Mountain pledge, (we do the research so you don't have to) I have uncovered a story quite fitting for Easter. Apparently, or should I say allegedly, there is a giant rabbit in a village in England terrorizing the locals and eating their fresh garden produce. This is true, got it straight off the internet news, ripped right out the headlines, and if you can't believe the internet, what can you believe?
Leeks, onion sprouts and baby carrots are disappearing from their gardens and a giant rabbit is alleged to be responsible. The British Secret Service are investigating the possibility that the giant rabbit has ties to terrorists, and have nick named him Bunn Laden. Like the infamous Binn Laden, he is very elusive, disappearing into rabbit holes whenever the coalition troops appear.
Now yes, it's quite likely that I have, well, stretched things in the past, but this time I am not making this up. This story has been verified by the British Rabbit Council...British Rabbit Council........? Yes, apparently they have a council for rabbits, it's a British thing....
The furious and scared villagers (I've noticed villagers scare easiler than town folk) have actually hired armed guards to protect them from this huge wascally wabbit. He is described as being black and brown, and he's estimated to stand between 3 and 4 feet tall. The guards are armed with air rifles....personally I think I would want something a little bigger for a 4 foot rabbit. Those British, they love a good scrap, apparently they want to make him mad before they go after him. Although air guns seem a little light for a monster rabbit, I'm told by a reputable air gun expert these particular air guns are equipped with a very delicate 'hare' trigger.
Local Rabbit Police, (who work for the British Rabbit Council and are referred to as British Bunnies) rounded up the usual suspects and had a police lineup, but so far the monster rabbit has eluded capture. He should be easy to identify in a police lineup, as witnesses say he has one floppy ear that is longer than the other. One suspect, who police say fit the profile, was arrested but had to be released, because there was some confusion on the part of the eye witnesses. Unnamed sources close to the garden say it was Peter Rabbit, but police have not released the name, indicating they're wasn't enough evidence. Apparently the witness' couldn't agree as to whether it is was the perpetrators right ear or his left ear that was long and floppy. (This is another similiarity to Bin Laden the terrorist, who is also said to have one ear floppier than the other.) There is also some witness confusion as to whether or not the culprit is brown and black, or black and brown.
Here on Silverhorn Mountain we have some pretty spectacular wildlife, but nothing like this. The closest we can come to a 4 foot rabbit is the 32 inch squirrel that Old Kelsey claimed ate his nuts. Now, poor old Kelsey made it to 95 years of age, and he didn't seem the type to make stuff up. (in other words, he was nothing like me).
According to local legend, one warm October afternoon in hunting season, Old Kelsey fell asleep standing up, while leaning against a red maple tree watching for a deer on his favorite deer trail. He woke up with a start, when he felt something bite into his leg. Imagine his surprise when he looked down to see that a big squirrel, standing on his hind legs, had chewed through his mackinaw pants and was eating his nuts.
Old Kelsey screamed and the squirrel got down on all fours and ran away before Old Kelsey could get his rifle up for a clear shot. But the poor old fella said it ruined his hunting trip, he had been saving that bag of salted peanuts (oh c'mon, what kind of nuts did you think I was talking about?) in his pocket for a late afternoon snack, and the dammed squirrel ate them all.
According to Old Kelsey, the squirrel stood 32 inches tall, because he said he had a 32 inch inseam. His son, Young Kelsey, always disputed the story, stating emphatically his father only had a 31 inch inseam....
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