Hello, and welcome to Silverhorn Lodge snuggled on the shores of beautiful Silverhorn Lake, located beneath Silverhorn Mountain.If this is your first time here, I hope you see something you like, if you have been here before and chosen to come back on your own accord....thank you. (and perhaps it is time you seek some counselling).
First a little social commentary. For several years we have been hearing about Global Warming, and as a bit of a nature nut I can attest to seeing first hand what could be construed as some of the impacts of it on earth and on life on earth. When I first heard about it, I must admit I was excited because I immediately came up with images of women wearing less and less clothing because of the higher temperatures. On the surface, that seemed to hold some promise. In hindsight, I may not have been thinking that through, because in reality, it wouldn't just be the attractive super models walking the streets in less clothing it would be everyone, including men....putting it in that perspective changed my view.
Science, is at best a moving target and opinions abound and theories vary from scientist to scientist. However, by reading the first couple of lines and the last couple of lines (short attention span)of many recent magazine articles, it appears global warming is upon us and creating devasting effects that have only just begun. It is far too deep a subject for me to even begin to discuss, so I won't try. However, I do suggest you pay attention to it, read about it and talk about it with your friends, politicians and anyone else who might listen to you.
Frequent visitors to Silverhorn Mountain will attest to my love of educating and informing on matters related to safety, and history. I research things so you don't have to. Today I think a little history is in order.
Several hundred years ago, when beautiful damsels, charming knights and ferocious dragons roamed the earth there was a young knight by the name of Henry Wilbur Swanson. Henry was a very brave young man and quickly earned the favor of his King. However, Sir Swanson (as the lesser nobles referred to him) was a financially poor knight, having spent a lot of money on his shiny suit of armor. It is a little known fact that it was very cold back then (no global warming). According to weather records of the time, the sun didn't shine very often, which is why historians refer to the period as the 'Dark Ages'. Suits of armour had to be fur lined to be warm, so they were pretty expensive.
Anyway..lets get to the history lesson. It seems the beautiful daughter of the King, Princess Annabelle, (I think a lot of princess's were named Annabelle) was walking home from her grandmothers house one day (she was walking because her father was a very poor King and they had sold their carriage to pay some gambling debts) when she was kidnapped by a dragon named TeeVee. ( possibly because he had this odd indentation in his forehead that looked like the letters T and V) (it may also have been an abrieviation of his scientific name which was Tenaciciousxlfibberbasterxenobily Venarrtronsiblelackseemous which the people of the time found difficult to pronounce) TeeVee snatched the charming Princess up and ran off with her, eventually imprisoning her in a tower. It is unclear why, but it seems a lot of the towers were owned by dragons.
Sir Henry Swanson was out on his poor old horse, wandering the countryside. He was happy, snuggled warm inside of his fur lined suit of armour, humming a knightly tune (he enjoyed the way his humming vibrated inside his suite of armor) and looking for chivalrous acts to perform when he heard the plaintiff cries of his King's daughter. Urging his steed on, with fur lined spurs, he arrived at the tower to confront TeeVee, the terrible dragon. One story I found says that his trusty horse (named Trusty) threw poor Henry on the ground at the dragons feet, but I haven't been able to verify that because records of that time in history are scarce.(writers were too busy trying to stay warm and running from dragons..) He may have simply fell off, his armour was so shiny it was slippery. This lack of records is compounded by the fact that what can be found is written in latin.
OK, OK this is becoming an epic mini series instead of a history lesson, so I am going to pick up the tempo. Sir Swanson wasted no time drawing his sword and slaying the Tee Vee the nasty dragon, slicing him into manageable pieces. Leaving the dragon pieces on the ground, he hurried to the tower and after dashing up the stairs, (actually he struggled up the stairs because of his heavy armour) he released the thankful Princess and they 'spent the knight'...(get it...think about it..)
The next morning, the poor knight rose early because he was sooo cold, the temperature had dropped far, far , far below freezing (it was cold) and his Princess was hungry. ( I said she was beautiful, not necessarily thin) He went outside to rustle up some food, build a fire and have a leak. (not necessarily in that order)
After removing most of his armour to relieve himself, he shivered in the cold, wishing there was a better way. Finally he did his business, put his suit back on, lit a lovely fire and then looked around for some food. His wandering eyes fell upon the now frozen slices of Tee Vee the dragon and the wheels in his head began to turn. Taking off some of his suit of armour he began making a zipper fly, which as you can imagine, given his lack of tools, took several attempts to get it right.
Meanwhile, the Princess, tired of waiting for him, had come outside to see "what he hell he was doing". (in her words, translated from latin) Seeing that he was busy frigging with trying to invent interlocking pieces of metal, she took matters in her own hands. Using an extra piece of his armour as a tray, she put some of the choice cuts of meat on it and placed it next to the fire to cook.
Suddenly our Henry stood up and shouted: "uyriewud!!" (some historians say that means 'Eureka I have invented a zipper', but no one is quite sure).
Realizing he had a great money making idea, Sir Swanson quickly jumped on his horse and hurried on his way to patent his invention, suits of armour with a zipper fly. Unfortunately, he didn't do very well financially, because zippers were difficult to make and suits of armour were losing popularity as more and more noblemen lost their interest in fighting (probably because of excessive blood loss) and they took to wearing stretch hose with matching velcro codpieces (look them up).
It all turned out OK in the end because Sir Swanson eventually married the noveau rich Princess Annabelle and they lived happily ever after. Annabelle, being a woman, had recognized a good idea when she saw one. The beautiful princess, now know as Mrs. Swanson, went on to enjoy untold riches, as the inventor of Frozen TeeVee Dinners!!
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