Plumbing Made Easy

Hi - Ho Silverhorners!

From time to time I get called in to consult on problems people have around their homes and cottages here on the mountain. Today is no exception, I ran in to one of our members who related a story involving a water problem, at first I thought she was referring to her husband, but then I realized it was a plumbing problem under her cottage. I am not called in to assist or give advice because of my skill as a handyman, I'm just nosy, and a little curious. Rather than cut a hole in a wall here at Silverhorn Lodge, better to do it down the road at someone else's place to see what happens. Besides, someone has hidden most of my tools since the big messy episode with the hole cutting drill and the water pipe....but I digress......

Plumbing is always a problem around places, even classy expensive places like Silverhorn Lodge, situated on Silverhorn Mountain overlooking Silverhorn Lake. No heat in the winter means the water has to be shut off and the system drained. Otherwise, frozen pipes result which burst like balloons when the temperature drops. God knows I have fixed enough of them, and it is not in any way 'nice' work. I'm really not sure there is anything that is 'nice' work, in fact come to think of it, 'nice' and 'work' don't really go together do they? Maybe if I was a Rock Star....anyway there I go digressing again.....Usually plumbing trouble means crawling around under the lodge, risking encounters with skunks and giant rubber rats and who knows what else. Besides it is cold and damp under there in April. Even when it is bright and sunny on the lawn. It is especially cold and damp if a burst pipe is pouring ice cold lake water down on your head. Trust me...it has happened to me 764 times.

Used to be, I would crawl under the lodge, propane torch, solder and flux in hand, and a hack saw between my teeth like a pirate boarding a ship, cut the burst part out of the pipe and solder in a replacement piece. Normally I sing while I am doing this just in case there is a porcupine or skunk under there with me. Nothing to it. Real easy. Yup.....except you are usually soldering over your head, while lying on your back with hot solder dripping into your face, hurricane winds blowing out your torch, your flashlight clamped between your teeth. and the contents of your pants pockets spilling out all over the place.

It used to be a good day's work for me because I am not much of a solderer....which goes back to my 'Am I Stupid' article because I have been soldering since I was about 3 years old and I still am not good at it. My father was a plumber, my grandfather was a plumber...his father was a plumber...my Mother did their book keeping...plumbing is in my blood. Well it might be in my blood, it isn't in my brain....there must have been some screw up in the gene pool because I am not a plumber. (adopted maybe??? Have to look into that...) Those poor guys had wrenches and blow torches in my hands since I was old enough to wrench and blow torch. It must have come as a hell of a disappointment to them to find out I wasn't planning to follow in the family business. Imagine their chagrin when I announced I was gonna be a cowboy....Anyway, I didn't do very good in the cowboy business, not much demand for that around here, and I was allergic to horses..but I did no better at soldering.

Lets have a short musical intermission while you female readers of The View from Silverhorn Lodge sing a few bars of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy....."

Yeeee Hawww!!

OK thank you, now back to plumbing 101...

Where were we? Oh yeah, where there is a will there is a way, or as my friend always says, where there is a 'will' there is an old lady who needs a little loving...oops..digressing again.... After a lot of solder burns, continually leaking pipes, and a few close calls with fire, (not to mention I'm not allowed to play with matches since the oil tank incident) I discovered a solution. (we do the research so you don't have to) The answer is found in little plastic packages called ...shhh don't tell everybody....PUSH N' TURN fittings. They are designed to work on plastic or copper pipe All you do is cut out the section with the leak, and replace it with a piece of pipe and two fittings. A pipe cutter and a couple of adjustable wrenches. They come in 90 degree elbows, 45 degree turns, unions, and more stuff. Works great and it can be disconnected to drain as long as you are careful. Not only do I swear by it, I want to buy the company. It is better, much better than sliced bread..although I do think sliced bread is a lot easier to deal with than unsliced bread...But...unlike sliced bread, these fittings can be difficult to find. Whenever I find some in building supply or hardware stores I buy some of them to have on hand in emergencies. Throw away the propane torch and solder, get some PUSH n' TURN fittings. While you are at it, buy some of the plastic pipe as well cause it will bend slightly around corners, which is just plain cool, however, if you insist these fittings will work equally well with copper pipe.

Another thing that has been helpful in regard to plumbing are my garden gnomes, they can walk around under the lodge a lot easier than I can crawl, so I load them up with the stuff and send them in. The trouble is, the lazy buggers tend to just get under the lodge and stand there. Lazy...lazy... lazy...If anyone knows where I can get a few that will actually work, let me know.

OK One more time !! ""Save a horse ride a cowboy!!