Hi Folks, welcome back, and if you are a first timer, come on in, the water's warm. Another day another dollar here at the Lodge, and a dollar is a bit of a stretch. Only made about .09 cents today in ad revenue. If this keeps up I might have to sell this computer part by part to make ends meet. I already sold the monitor, so if my typing is a little off, it's because I can't see anything.
Someone asked me today if the stories I tell you about here are real. Imagine, are they real? That's like asking if Survivor is real, is the Amazing Race real. All the 'reality' shows on television today and people are wondering if this is real....???? Well, of course they are real, after all, I am doing the research so you don't have to.
Now, I admit, some of the articles might be a little....well...shall we say, elaborated on, but it is purely to help you understand. Hopefully it helps you to put a little bit of the stuff you hear everyday in a new perspective. That's why I call this The View From Silverhorn Mountain. From up here we can see farther than others. Sure, I might stretch the truth a little, but most of the time there is more truth in these musings than on television. This is kinda like reality computer, without the pornography.
Speaking of real, did you see in the news where a millionaire realtor got bit on the hand by an alligator? He was trying to wrestle it to impress his friends. Well, apparently the alligator wasn't in a wrestling mood and instead grabbed the guy by the hand and dragged him into the water. His friends got him back by pulling the gator's tail. Now, here we go again, I find myself asking, "What was he thinking?" This is a guy who reportedly has a million dollars, and he grabs and alligator and tries to get it to wrestle with him. Duh....Buddy...Mr. Millionaire, alligators don't wrestle, they bite....they've even been known to bite the hand that feeds them.
It reminds me of a guy we had around here for a short time. He came North looking to make a name for himself wrestling bears, old Charlie McCormick. He ended up wrestling one bear and picking up an odd nickname. Now Charlie was a tough old guy about 75 and he had seen it all. He had an odd way of looking at you, with one eyebrow way up on his forehead and the opposite eye almost shut. And his nose...well...it was certainly different. Most people thought Charlie was just a permanent skeptic, always looking at stuff like he didn't believe it. Truth is, Charlie had a run in with a bear one night while he was cooking a nice trout on a campfire.
According to Charlie's account, he was just about to dig into his trout when a big black bear burst onto the scene and grabbed the trout right off Charlie's plate. Not one to give up easy, Charlie hit the bear on the head with his frying pan. Naturally this pissed the bear off. He dropped the trout and decided to have a go at old Charlie himself. A struggle ensued, and after a lot of screaming, blood letting, cursing and wrestling around in the fire, Charlie got the best of the bear and got him in a headlock.
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with bear wrestling, this is not necessarily a good thing. Once you have a 300 pound black bear in a headlock, you have to decide what to do with him. It isn't always easy just to let go, and bears usually don't cry uncle and give up. Nope, they tend to kick and scratch and scream bloody murder and gnash their teeth. Bears do a lot of 'teeth gnashing' (look it up, they really do).
In the melee, the bear managed to get his paw down in front of Charlie and made swipe towards a 'tender' spot, and apparently connected. His big paw came away with a little more of Charlie than Charlie wanted to part with. The bear held his paw containing the Charlie parts in the air, and bellowed. Recognizing what was in the bears outstretched paw, Charlie let go of the headlock and jumped back screaming before passing out beside the fire and the trout. Most of Charlies scalp and face were torn off. The bear getting free, threw Charlie's parts on the ground, grabbed the trout and apparently a couple of Charlie's beers and took off back into the woods.
When Charlie woke up, he was in the Silverhorn Surgery. A couple of hikers (it's always hikers that find bodies) had come across Charlie, rounded up all his 'parts' and rushed him to the doctor. The doc had sewn Charlie's face back together, but it was a Saturday night and the poor old doctor had had a few too many rum and cokes. Charlie's face was patched up, one eyebrow was missing and the other one was sewn to the top of his forehead. The doctor had put it there to try and grow Charlie a little hair to replace his hair that had gone missing with the top of his head. He had used the rest of the parts the hikers had turned in to reconstruct what he thought at the time was a fine looking nose. Charlie looked in the mirror and gasped, much to the doctor's chagrin. "My nose!" screamed old Charlie.
"Whaz wrong wisth it...?" asked the drunken doctor.
"What's wrong with it??? You drunken butcher, It's not my nose it's my......
Just then the doctor's attractive young nurse walked into the room......and Charlie earned his nickname........Pinnochio.....
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