Beware of Blondes In Boats

Howdy Silverhorners and Silverhorn wan-na-bees welcome to beautiful Silverhorn Lodge, situated on the side of majestic Silverhorn Mountain, overlooking shimmering Silverhorn Lake.

It is a beautiful evening here at the Lodge, Marcello and I are sitting outside on the deck, enjoying the comfort of our new Adirondack chairs and sipping a refreshing ice tea.

We just came back from the Chatham Jaycees Sweet Corn Festival in Illinois. Well, to be honest, we just watched a clip of the festival on the big screen plasma television in the Silverhorn Bar...well to be really honest... it's just a 32 inch television in the rec room but it is color...

Anyway, we were watching the promo (easy now..I said 'promo' not 'porno') for the Annual Cow Chip Throw Championship contest which will be held at the festival on Saturday. Paticipants pay five dollars for two 'chips' and see how far you can throw them. It's a big time in Chatham, people come from miles around. The organizers gather the 'chips' and dry them out a bit in the sun prior to the big chip toss contest.

There were several speed boats on the lake this weekend and a couple of them even seemed to have their outboard motors running despite the high price of gas.

I did have to tow one boater who had made a splashing dash down the lake in a speedboat, only to come to an embarrassing halt on the other side. At first I said, oh well, someone else will save him, then I got out the binoculars and was able to see a shapely girl with long blonde hair trying to get the motor started and then giving up and starting to try and paddle against the wind.

So...being the good Samaritan I am...and when no one else seemed to be taking any interest in coming to her aid, I knocked Marcello out of the way and my wife off the wharf and launched the Official Silverhorn Lodge Rescue Craft, and went to the rescue.

I must have made a dashing figure myself flying over the waves in my open boat to the rescue of the beautiful blonde damsel in distress...except...when I got close I discovered my distressed damsel was actually a guy with long blonde hair and a beard....a beard...some kind of fair haired middle aged hippie...I thought they were all gone years ago....I bet he was even wearing sandals...Well...I was there then, what could I do, I hooked on to his bow rope and towed him home...then I threw my frigging binoculars overboard......

One more thing before I let you go back to what must have been a miserable existence before you found The View From Silverhorn Lodge. I have to do a little bragging... Our story, "The Space Shuttle Takes off Duct Tape on Board" has been listed 6/10 in the most recent Carnival Of Comedy blog carnival. There are 3 categories, 1)laugh like crazy, 2)laugh and 3)laugh a little. We are (I'm gonna say it again, you know that) 6/10 (read six out of 10) in the top category 'laugh like crazy'. Way to go Silverhorners!! It's your support that keeps me doing this....I'm a littl confused as to why we did so well in the Comedy Carnival, because this blog is not supposed to be funny......I mean, I could understand ranking high in the Hard hitting Journalism Carnival, but Carnival of Comedy? Go figure......


Marcello thinks I should go to Illinois ( for those of you reading this aloud, and not too bright, it's pronounced ill-a-noy not ill-ee-noise)for the weekend and take part in the cow chip flinging thingy contest, he thinks I would win because I have been throwing bullshit around this blog for several months now and some of it goes quite far.....but then, you knew I was going to say that didn't you.....?

And finally....some notable things to remember..
"I don't believe in defeat." Dr. Norman Vincent Peale - The Power of Positive Thinking.
"Beware of Blondes in Boats" Robert Parker The View From Silverhorn Lodge

p.s.I'm still looking for a good trade offer on my green Bic lighter....

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