Tuesday, September 05, 2006

This is a Croc!

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome to The View From Silverhorn Mountain. Well, the last official long weekend of summer has bit the dust and we have launched into what promises to be autumn. Although summer is not officially over until September 20th, I can't help but feel it is over when the little kids load up their backpacks and head off to school. The days are shorter, the nights are longer (duh) and there is a nip in the air that is unmistakably fall.

Well, by now you have all heard that energetic croc chaser and animal expert Steve Irwin from Australia has come to the end of his run, following a not so nice encounter with a stingray. The poor fellow got it right in the heart as he swam with what until then, seemed to be a friendly bunch of stingrays. However, they don't call them stingrays for nothing, and unfortunately it cost Steve his life. We will miss his exciting videos, taunting snakes and crocodiles and other wild creatures, always jumping back just in the nick of time.

Steve was nothing if he wasn't exuberant and sometimes, after watching one of his shows I would feel inspired to tease some of the wildlife around Silverhorn Lodge...with a dead fish or chicken...I wasn't always as successful as Steve at jumping back, but the doctor was able to sew my fingers back on, albeit upside down...he warned me not to hit my wife with a dead mackerel again...he couldn't guarantee he could sew them back on a second time.

Speaking of crocs, not the reptiles and not my wife...but those new shoes everyone is wearing....I believe I mentioned these before, (and stop me if I have), but only because they really, really...REALLY...I mean they really bug me. They have to be the most stupid looking footwear on the market, and if I hear one more person say "Oh but they are sooooo comfortable." I might puke all over the hideous green or orange or blue things...

Ok if you are out in the garden, and no one else is home, and your neighbors are all away on vacation and it is nighttime and you are not in an area where ticks are an issue...maybe...but to work??? To the Mall??? Out in Public??? C'mon what are ya thinking??? The wife showed a brief interest in them while we were on vacation, but lost interest when I said, "I hope they are as comfortable as they claim, cause you are going be walking home in them."

Have we become a society so old that 'comfort' has replaced all semblance of fashion? Giving up style for easy walking...where ya walking? To the nursing home?

I could argue that barefeet are comfortable...but not to work...I could argue that I am most comfortable in a blue and white striped speedo bathing suit...but not at work...so why do people think that they can get away wearing crocs in public? Because they are comfortable...Hell they aren't even made out of real crocodile skin.

And finally on this issue, the only thing worse than crocs on a woman are you guessed it..crocs on a man...GOOD GOD MAN!!!! LOOK DOWN AT YOUR FEET!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??? The only thing I can come up with is that you are too fat to see your feet and your wife and kids put them on for ya and sent you outside to give your buddies a laugh...

I have sent my trusty team of Silverhorn Researchers off to find out about these..um...things...I refuse to call them shoes....perhaps we can find out who is behind this travesty...I'm thinking Binn Laden, stymied by his failed attempts to attack us has decided to at least have a laugh....

Ok I said my piece...I feel much better now...

While I am at it, and I am a bit cranky tonight, why the Hell does the media continue to call the killing of Canadian soldiers by the Americans "Friendly Fire"?? Anything that kills ya can't be considered friendly....I'm thinking the Canadians better get new uniforms with bloody big signs on them that say "I am a Canadian - Goddammit - I am on your side!"

I understand that Pakistan is offering Binn Laden a nice place to live as long as he gives up his terrorist ways and lives peacefully. What??? I thought they were helping us look for him, not trying to talk him into immigrating to their country...Apparently instead of dropping reward posters and leaflets into the mountains, the Pakistani government is now dropping brochures advertising Pakistan as a nice place to retire..Now ya gotta wonder what the Pakistan folks are thinking on this one...first of all, Binn Laden ain't about to retire, so their offer is probably a waste of time, and the Americans can't be too pleased about this..... Perhaps the US should print up some nice flyers of there own, something like, "Guantonamo Bay Terrorist Retirement Villa - A Nice Place to Come Home To"

Talking about bad luck, did you hear about the paraglider in Jerusalem who crashed his glider in the middle of a minefield? Apparently he broke a few bones too, and had to sit in the middle of the field until military officials could come to his rescue. Fortunately he missed the mines, or we would have been able to say he crashed and burned....

A Queensbury New York man has set a record while getting a record, he was arrested for the 100th time. Anthony Love had 99 other arrests to his credit before he was stopped this week transporting $1300 in stolen merchandise from outlet stores. Says a lot for the rehabilitation benefits of prison doesn't it... I guess the good folks at the Queensbury police station will probably have a small celebration in his honor at the police station and rumor has it the prison is going to do up something nice...there is talk about a cake...

Today's Quote: "uh-oh..." - The late Steve Irwin

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