Hey Gang! Welcome up to Silverhorn Mountain. Well, Marcello and the rest of the garden gnome boys have been at me lately to respond to some of the hundreds of letters, post cards and emails we have received here at the Lodge since we began posting.
Yes, we get letters (well actually no letters) and emails here all the time, many of them are not really for us, but we open them anyway....
So, after careful reflection, meaning I can't come up with a better idea after thinking about it for five or six seconds, I have decided to go for it.
So lets see what is in the old IN box.
The first one is from someone who's email is thewife@silverhornlodge.com who writes to say, "I'm leaving you, your clothes are all in the septic tank, and I have closed our bank account. You and your gnomes can go to Hell!!"
I wondered where my clothes were....
This one is from someone named Maggie, who sent us a short, but somewhat confusing email that merely says, "Where the Hell is my freakin'&*&$#& t-shirt that you promised to send me after I won your freakin'^&%$#$%contest???....and oh, by the way, Love your blog...is Marcello still single?"
Then we had one from Karl, at karl.crazymail.com who wrote to say, "I can't wait to win a t-shirt." The contest is over Karl...stop sending emails...I told you it's oooovvvvveeerrr!!
We recently received a nice email from Boothebear@nownutless.com wanted to thank us for all we had tried to do for him in his bid for freedom. Boo said that he didn't think he would be making any more escape attempts...there just didn't seem to be any hard reason to leave.... At least I think that is what he was trying to say, it was hard to read the email, it was covered in bear slobber.
We had several emails from someone at Reuters News, Yahoo, and Time Magazine, politely thanking us for reprinting their news articles and explaining the meaning of "plagerism" Wow! Who knew....??? I'd print their emails here, but....well...they appear a little touchy about that.
Digging a little deeper in the trash, oops!! I mean IN box, we had several emails from rocket scientists, that were not too complimentary about me or brain surgeons, but it all evened out because we had quite a few from brain surgeons who were not too complimentary about me or rocket scientists....they are full of big words, but I get the gist of it...I responded to both of them by saying that I heard the lawyers at Reuters, yahoo and Time Magazine think brain surgeons and rocket scientists are not all that bright....that will throw them off of me for a little while....
And yet another, this one from soontobeexife@havinganaffair.silverhorny.com who wrote a kind of cryptic message that our Silverhorn Lodge Cryptologists Team (SLCT)had trouble making sense of...however, they think it says, "Go Tuck Yourself" which doesn't mean much to us here, perhaps one of our readers might be able to shed a little light on it...
I can't tell you the numbers of not so nice emails we have received following our Crusty the Croc posts and other alligator stories. Most of them are difficult to read, they look like they were typed by people missing fingers and hands.....
Letourneau@inprisioncauseIsleptwithmystudentmail.com wrote a very suggestive letter to Marcello a couple of months back. Seems she is unhappy in her current relationship, indicating her husband has grown a little too tall, and wondering if Marcello might like to go out on a date.....
We had a rather official looking email from the Silverhorn Mountain Highway Patrol, (SMHP)who have politely asked me to roll up my window on the old Tracker if I am going to insist on speeding down the mountain singing "Born To Be Wild"....apparently I screwed up there radar gun...
Someone at CRAP, the Caper Regional Aeronautics Program, you remember them, they plan to build rockets in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, dropped us a short note, simply saying "lay off"....I am not sure if that was a warning, or a notice that the CRAP was in the crapper and they were inviting me to the celebration....
Those of you who come here often are well aware the pure bliss that I get from making fun of people who wear the newest footwear rage, Alligators...er...no, Crocs...well...little did I know that any Croc wearers were intelligent enough to be able to read....I had several emails regarding crocs, the most memorable being one from sally@yesiamanidot.com who wrote to say that she wore them because she liked people to laugh at her behind her back...This substantiates my theory that the person who came up with the Crocs has a heck of a sense of humor....
There were several more pathetic attempts to convince me that these...um...shoes were the greatest thing since bottled water...I cannot print them all here, but I feel I should at least give a few of them honorable mention by posting their email address' and suggesting those of you who agree with me inundate them with smilely face icons...
So here goes:
Malcolm@Iliketowalklikeaduck.quackerspot.com
Sylvia@doyouthinkiamsexy.nope.com
Marcus@yesiamoutofthecloset.com
Peter@ineverwasinthecloset.com
Karl@ishouldbeputinthecloset.yup.com
Karen@iamtoooldforsexyshoes.patheticblog.com
Candy@willievergetlaidwearingcrocs.notlikely.com
Julia@iwishilivedinawindmill.com
Cindy@whyarepeoplelaughingatme.itsyourshoes.com
Wendy@theyaresocomfortable.nevergetlaid.com
Maggie@whereismy*&$#@$#t-shirt.com
Ok...I will let the Croc thing go...for tonight...
Anonymous@binnhidinginthemountains.pakistan.com wrote several weeks ago, saying something that we didn't understand at first, but has since been translated by the Silverhorn Lodge Received Foreign Email Translation Team (SLRFETT). The boys aren't positive of all the words, but loosely translated they say it says,
"Na-Na-Naaa-Na-Naaaa"
Finally, this just in today, we got one from theexwife@silverhornlodge.cum that says simply, "Ricardo is wonderful. Bye Sucker"
hmmm....perhaps I have been spending a little too much time at this blog.....
Todays Silverhorn Lodge Quote "Don't email us- we'll email you" - Marcello
Crocs
Garden Gnomes
Rocket Scientists
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