Britney Spears Nude - Not On Silverhorn Mountain

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to the View From Silverhorn Mountain. I'm sitting on the deck of Silverhorn Lodge, sipping an instant coffee, enjoying the beautiful sunset over Silverhorn Lake.

I haven't seen much of Marcello, Chief Garden Gnome here at Silverhorn, and the rest of the boys as they are locked away in their computer room. When I asked what they were doing, Marcello just said, "research" and mumbled some line about "doing the research so you don't have to" That's when Alonzo, who was at the keyboard, looked up and asked how to spell "Britney" as in Britney Spears....?

Yes, it seems the boys have succumbed to all the hype about Britney's ummmm....aaaaa....well.....pictures of her aaaaa.....well....ummmmmmmmmmm.

As you know by now, if you are on this planet, Ms Spears had a little memory loss and left home without her undershorts...just in time to have her photo taken....Now here at the Silverhorn, we pride ourselves on our sense of modesty, and decency and of course discretion, not to mention respect for someone's privacy....so we are not going to mention that Britney Spears was photographed nude getting out of a car in a short dress without panties, because that would be...well it would be a cheap way to get a bunch of hits to this site...talking about nude Britney on a blog these days is so common...just because pop singer Britney Spears is running around without her underwear is no reason for those of us here at Silverhorn Lodge to capitalize on the young nude, sexy Britney Spear's name....Nosirreee ma'am we have much to much class....oh sure, we might mention Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton in passing, but to mention, or even suggest anything about their nudity...well...I am offended that you might even think we would do something like that...We believe in live and let live here on the mountain and if Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson and Marcello want to run around in front of paparazzi without bras or shirts or thongs or panties or boy shorts...that is entirely up to them......Now, on to other things...


AM I STUPID? NEWS
A thief in De Queen, Arkansas, (what kind of a name is 'de queen'?) tried to shoplift a guitar from a music store. How did he do it you ask? Why he tried to hide the guitar under his clothes and walk out of the store past the owner..imagine that conversation..."Is that a guitar in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"


OTHER NEWS
Feel like a little Italian? Well, you better check his passport. It seems phoney Italian foods are flooding the world, confusing some of us, and costing Italian farmers buckets of money. It seems that food makers are using Italian sounding words and images on labels of food that is..um...not Italian...uh-oh...

Here at Silverhorn Lodge we pride ourselves on authentic cuisine, and would never try to fool our guests by hiding the origin of the menu, why just this evening,the wife made hamburgerottini for supper...served on fresha sessaamaseedii bunnis!!

BOARING NEWS
Frequent readers to this diatribe (you know who you are) know that we have a theory about animals getting a little smarter and perhaps fighting back a bit. Well, a pack of wild boars went a little crazy in a German Village running around biting people and damaging cars and shops.

Apparently they were trying to avoid some hunters and decided to hide out in town during rush hour. Unfortunately for the little critters three of them were shot by police and several other were run over by cars.

One even entered a boutique and tried on a dress in an apparent attempt to don a disquise.

We had a similar incident here in Silverhorn Village a couple of years ago when a bunch of nerdy, but talkative bloggers on a retreat had a little too much wine and ran around the village talking to the locals...talk about boars.....

I think Britney would look good in our newest shirt, available in several great colors!



Britney Spears
Britney

Turkeys, More Turkeys and Plastic Babies

Hey Silverhorners and those of you visiting who are not Silverhorners but want to be....Welcome to Silverhorn Mountain! Things have been quite busy here at Silverhorn Lodge, situated on the shores of shimmering Silverhorn Lake, high atop majestic Silverhorn Mountain.

The Christmas crescendo is gaining strength, city stop lights are blinking a bright red and green as the shoppers rush home with their presents, its getting close to Christmas time on the mountain. We had our first Christmas party last night, and it's one after the other from here on. Silverhorn Lodge is a popular Christmas party destination, perhaps because a lot of people think I am really Santa and the garden gnomes are the reindeer...yeah, I said, reindeer...a lot of people are stupid...I told you that before...if anything the garden gnomes resemble Santa's Elves, not his friggin' reindeer.....

This is a tough time of year for some folks, it can be a financially stressful time, and it can be a lonely time, keep that in mind as you go gleefully through the season, but if you want to see real stress, take a look at a turkey....from October to December the poor little fellers are on everyone's wish list. Canadian's are plucking them like crazy in October for their Thanksgiving, and then the Americans go at them with a carving knife in November for their Thanksgiving and then comes Christmas and the real slaughter begins....I guess a turkey doesn't have much to give thanks for until January....

But, as I have been telling you all for some time now, the animals are starting to get smarter....or at least trying to get smarter. Take for example a bunch of wild turkeys that tried to board a train in New Jersey, heading to Suffern New York. Now I don't know how much safer they would be in Suffern, but that's where they were headed. Personally, I don't like the sound of a place with the name 'Suffern' sounds a little too much like 'sufferin' to me...but I digress....

Unfortunately for the Turkey's the railway 'officials' (I know, I know, those dam officials) had them on surveillence cameras the entire time, and there was little hope of them escaping. A local volunteer group, I believe called the Ramsay Rescue Squad were monitoring the situation as well...why I am not sure...

We interrupt tonight's blog show to bring you a word from our sponsor, Cross The Line Designs makers of funny clothes and accessories for several weeks! Drop by and have a look at the great new designs on sale now just in time for Christmas!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled foolishness...er..blog...

Speaking of turkey, Silverhorn congratulations to 21 year old Patrick Bertoletti from Chicago who won the annual turkey eating contest, (we love eating contests here at Silverhorn Lodge) at Arni's Deli. Patrick chowed down 4.8 pounds of turkey in 12 minutes....now this is definitely not someone you want visiting for Christmas Dinner...

Patrick told reporters his strategy is to eat the breast first, because it takes a little longer....hmmm...sounds like a strategy I like to employ when the....oops never mind...

Moving away from breasts...but still talking about turkeys...did you hear about the latest foolishness from PETA, which I believe stands for People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals? Now this is a bunch of looney birds if there ever was....I seldom like to get ranting on The View From Silverhorn Mountain, as you know...but...

It seems a pastor at a church in Anchorage Alaska got an email from PETA giving him the dickens (no, not Dickens Christmas Story) for cruel treatment of animals because he featured them in a Nativity scene in his little parsonage.

Peta said he was subjecting animals "to cruel treatment and danger," by forcing them into roles in the church's annual manger scene. The problem is, because it is so dam cold in Anchorage Alaska, the church doesn't use real animals...nope....real people but fake animals...besides...it's difficult to get a polar bear to play a sheep even if it is for a good cause...

Now folks...this gets really ridiculous from here on...I don't blame you if you want to scroll on to the next post, or just move on to another blog entirely....sometimes even I don't like this stuff...These bozos at PETA actually have a 'captured animal in entertainment specialist' who spends his time tracking churches that use real animals in 'living nativity scenes' Couldn't we find a better use for someone like this...maybe in Iraq...

Anyway this bozo actually said that animals in nativity scenes "are subject to all sorts of terrible fates....animals have been stolen and slaughtered, they've been raped, (RAPED!!!??? In a Nativity scene!! OK ya gotta prove that one...I just don't believe that one...) they've escaped from the nativity scenes and have been struck by cars and killed, OK I will buy that one. The spokesperson continued saying,"really unfathomable things have happened to them...." Really unfathomable or really unbelievable)

So they wrote a letter to the pastor, only to find out the 'animals' are a really a puppet camel, and a hood that a person puts on to look like a cow...So the People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals can't even tell a real animal from a puppet....OK, send the kids to bed...I gotta say this...@#@#...!%$%...$$#& and this...&%@#...OK, I feel a little better now....

The pastor said, "We even use a plastic baby." But then..no one asked about the baby did they...?

Well I gotta go, I gotta go bring the dog in, it's getting cold and he isn't all that keen on pretending to be a drunken wiseman at the Silverhorn Mountain Lodge Annual Christmas Nativity Scene and Flea Market....

By the way, The View From Silverhorn Mountain has just been listed in the latest edition of the Carnival Of Comedy. They listed us under the heading of blogs that are "Real Funny"...I dunno why...anyway......you can see it, the link I mean... by clicking here...

nativity scene
turkey eating
PETA

A Little Post from Marcello

Hi Silverhorners! Welcome to Silverhorn Lodge, situated on the side of majestic Silverhorn Mountain, overlooking shimmering Silverhorn Lake and just a stones throw from the Silverhorn Lodge outhouse.

Marcello here, Chief Silverhorn Lodge Garden Gnome and Executive Vice President of Marketing for the fabulous Silverhorn Lodge line of exciting clothing and apparel. It's Friday night and the Boss is having a little nap humm....nap....he seems to nap a lot nowadays....

As the official Silverhorn Lodge clothing line promotor, I knew this would be a great opportunity for me show off some of the fantastic clothing designs we have available. These shirts and hats give you a chance to show off your affiliation with Silverhorn Lodge and look 'marvelous darling' in fact, depending on which one of the items you buy, someone might even call you a hot chick!!
So, welcome to the first Silverhorn Lodge Fashion Show, and be the first on your block to own some of this fantastic outerwear.

Canada, and Canadians are recognized all over the world as good people, and as peacekeepers and friends to all. Show off your Canadian roots and promote Canada with the Canadian flag, we always fly one here at Silverhorn Lodge.



Or, if you are not into toting a really attractive, functional and sexy Silverhorn
tote bag
but still want to look great and and proudly show the world you are Canadian, try our newest shirt, the Canada Flag Dark T available in several great colors!



The next item on our list of this fall's fabulous Silverhorn Mountain fashion is the
Womans Cap T with a fabulous picture of yours truly, Marcello, on the front. Girls in this shirt, you will be the centre of attention every time you walk into a room.


For those cool winter evenings putting up the Christmas tree or singing carols, you can stay warm while looking great in the Silverhorn Lodge Raglan Pink Hoodie. This looks terrific with a pair of jeans.


What outdoors guy goes out these days without a cap, and how tiresome it becomes to see everyone walking around with a NIKE logo on their hat. They all look the same. Well, not anymore, not since we put together the Silverhorn Lodge Logo and this stylin' cap. Available in beige or white. Look cool and keep the sun out of your eyes at the same time.


Ringer tees are what those in the biz call this next one, and they are becoming a staple of every girls wardrobe. Show off your individuality while looking fine in this Silverhorn Lodge Green Ringer.

This is the Silverhorn Lodge Hooded Sweatshirt. Perfect for boat rides or sitting around the campfire playing guitar. Not bad for robbing convenience stores either, although we don't recommend that activity....



Ahh...I always love these, especially because it has my picture on it. This is the equivalent of the 'little black dress' that all women have to have. This is the Marcello White Tee Shirt.


This is the Silverhorn Lodge staff shirt. Each spring, before the Lodge opens for the summer season, the Boss buys us all a new Silverhorn white shirt, and we all line up in front of the main lodge building for a group photo. This is casual enough to wear to a barn dance, and formal enough for casual Fridays at work, of course it is also required wearing on the Silverhorn Lodge mini golf course.



Finally, this one is for the ladies...*wink* the Boss would kill me if he knew I was putting this on here, but c'mon, it's my picture...and I am in charge of marketing...here it is, the Marcello Thong, what every woman wants in her pants...me...Marcello!! I'm a good fit, and comfortable to have close by....


These are just a sampling of the great designs and Silverhorn Lodge items that we have available. We have recently partnered with a little company located just down the other side of the mountain, called
Cross The Line Designs and they have graciously agreed to manage the sale and distribution of our products. I encourage you toVisit The Store and have a look at all the great products!

Well, I guess I better get moving, today I am also Chief Silverhorn Lodge Cook and tonight it's my turn to make supper.

Thanks for dropping by, and remember to come back to the lodge for new posts and lots of exciting stories.
Don't forget to check out the Silverhorn Lodge Apparel here!!
See Ya
Marcello

Boozy Elks and Snakes On A Plane

Hey Silverhorners!
Welcome back to The View From Silverhorn Mountain! My apologies for my absence, I have been away for a few days, but it's all right now, the judge said it couldn't have been me...in his words, "There's no way you could be guilty of a crime of this magnitude..you're not smart enough....

I started to protest...until my lawyer shoved me back down in the chair...I'm now in the Silverhorn Mountain News as the guy who thanked the judge for calling me stupid....

Did you hear about the California couple who are facing federal charges after they refused to stop what is politely being called, "overt sexual activity" during a flight to Raleigh, North Carolina? It seems the lovebirds (get it? birds fly...this was on a plane...duh) who, in the interest of modesty I will not name...well OK it was Warren and Dawn, both from California, who are accused of interfering with flight crew members during a flight from Los Angeles with a stop in Phoenix.

Not sure I get the part about interfering with flight members...I mean it seems Dawn may have been interfering with a member, but not the flight part...

Ok, now here is the part you shouldn't read aloud to your kids or your parents,
according to court documents, flight attendants saw Persing and Sewell (oops! I guess I mentioned their names) kissing, embracing and "acting in a manner that made other passengers uncomfortable" while the plane was stopped in Phoenix. I guess one of the passengers was asked to hold a bra and a pair of jockey shorts for a few minutes....

Actually a flight attendant asked Persing to stop kissing Sewell near her breast and pressing his face against Sewell's lower body. They cut it out until they were back in the air and then went back at it. When a flight attendant tried to join in...oops I mean tried to intervene, they told him to back off...which of course pissed the flight attendants off...so police were waiting when the plane landed...all was not lost though, they awarded the blushing couple with a Certificate of Membership In The Mile High Club, (c'mon it's a tradition) and then arrested them....

Apparently the cops didn't buy the loving couplers alibi that they were rehearsing a scene for a play very loosely based on the movie, Snakes On A Plane....

At the time of this post, they were going for a membership in the "Behind Bars Club" which I'm told has a remarkably different membership initiation....

Frequent readers know that the trusty team of Silverhorn Lodge Researchers and I are developing a theory that animals are on the move....remember Boo The Bear, Crusty The Croc, Hoppy the Irish Kangaroo?? Of course you do, and if you don't you better get to the archives conveniently located in the sidebar of this blog, and get caught up...it's stuff you should know....

Well, we've had a bear, a croc, and alligator, a squirrel and I believe a moose and a deer or two...You can add Elk to the list. Not just any elk, this one is drunk...and he is on the loose in Stockholm...Stockholm..remember Stockholm, I believe that is where they shut off the power one night so everyone could look at the stars and the famous "Stockholm Lights-Out Baby Boom" began...

Well, now the Stockholmish elks have a drinking problem...that is nothing new, so do a lot of the Elks in Elk Lodges all over the world...except this isn't that kind of an elk...this is a 4 legged elk and he is terrorizing school children...wait a minute..are we sure this is not the other kind of elk....?

A Stockholm Official, yes they have officials too...had this to say..."This could be a problem....we could be dealing with a boozy elk...." One thing about it, you can always count on an "official" for a ground breaking quote....

It seems they are blaming fermented apples for the elks..umm...problem...he got a taste for them and now he can't stop. Well, he better get in AEA (Alcoholic Elks Anonymous) quick, because if he doesn't sober up, plans are being made to detox him permanently...if ya know what I mean....

Care for apple? They are a bit squishy, but they pack a punch!!

Now can you see why The View From Silverhorn Mountain received 5/5 stars in the latest blog review?...it's hard hitting journalism like this that gets pulitzers..or is it pouletzers? I'm never sure......one is a coveted award, and I believe the other is a thing for grinding up chickens.....

Well, I gotta go, although he found me not guilty, the judge did give me a curfew, I am not allowed to be stupid after 10 p.m. I have no choice but to go to bed......

Click here to get some great clothes, funny slogans and Silverhorn Lodge stuff

Do conspiracy stories and unsolved history mysteries turn you on like they turn me on? If they do, check out
THESE GREAT BOOKS
drunk elk
mile high club
Sex On A Plane

The Silverhorn Yodel

Hey Silverhorners!
Welcome back to the Mountain....Hi....How You Doing? Another great day on Majestic Silverhorn Mountain.

Tonight we have to send a Silverhorn Mountain Yodel out to SexySuzy@Idontlikecrocseither.com. Suzy sent us a very nice email today and indicated how she is a recent Silverhorn Mountain Lodge convert, and in fact, the best kind of convert....Yes...unlike the rest of you, and you know who you are....SexySuzy has been promoting TVFSM (that means The View From Silverhorn Mountain) to her coworkers, and even to her kids.

Thank You SexySuzy. Unfortunately you were a little late or you might have been in the running for the Silverhorn Mountain Lodge Free T-Shirt giveaway which was won by the Marvellous Maggie.

PS, Maggie, stop sending me emails...the shirt is on it's way I tell ya....you know what the post office is like....it probably got caught up in the Thanksgiving rush...or the Remembrance day rush...if not, it will be here soon...unless it gets lost in the Christmas Rush....

So c'mon fellow lodgers!! join me in a good, old, rousing Silverhorn Mountain Lodge rendition of the official Silverhorn Yodel...do this out loud...at your desk....standing up....on your desk would be fun....from behind the wheel of your taxi cab....from the operating room...at the funeral home, it doesn't matter a good yodel sounds great anywhere...and it will make you feel better...it's like therapy....

Ready....ahhhdeep breath... 1 anna 2 anna 3...go:

"Yooooooo-deeeeedidddledeeeshoeeee-
Wedoooo00000theReeeeesearchhhh-
s0000oooouuuuudonthaveT000oooooooo!!!

There...now doesn't that feel good? I think you should sit back down at your desk now, and act like you are working.....

Speaking of yodelling, or yodelling about yodelling, did you know that recent studies by several independent research labs and universities have found that yodelling several times a day does wonders for stress levels, which of course is no secret to the Swiss...they have been yodelling for hundreds of years....and they have pretty stressful jobs putting the little parts in watches...(research - we do it)and sharpening all those Swiss Army Knives.

Many offices in Japan are incorporating staff yodelling into their daily work routines....In fact, we here at Silverhorn Lodge Consulting have recently had a request to go to Japan and conduct yodelling seminars for managers and staff. It seems the success of our Kareoke for Business Meetings Seminars went over so well, they would like us back....

The Front For The Liberation Of Garden Gnomes

Hi Ho Silverhorners! Marcello here today, the Boss is under the weather, or under the blankets, brought down by a nasty cold. But, the View From Silverhorn Mountain must go on, so here I am, stepping up to the plate.

With the Boss out of the action, this is a great opportunity for me to tell you about something he forbids me to talk about. It seems there is a garden gnome liberation group at work, helping to get some of us to safety. The news reports refer to our escapes with the help of underground freedom fighters, as being 'stolen' Ha!

The Front For The Liberation of Garden Gnomes, (TFFTLOGG) is going strong in various parts of the world, including France, Germany, Spain, the United States, and even here in Canada. (on another note, do you not find it strange that when you mention most country names we just say the name, i.e. Germany, France, Canada, but when we mention the USA, we say THE United States....lets start saying, THE Canada, THE Spain, THE Cape Breton.....you get the picture)

The TFFTLOGG suffered an unfortunate setback recently when 79 liberated fellow gnomes were found hiding along the banks of a river in France. Of course, some of my brethren are not too bright, (yes I can say that but don't you...). Apparently these cement half wits were "hiding" under a banner that said, "Gnome Mistreated, Gnome Liberated"....duh......

These lucky, than unlucky fellows were liberated by the aforementioned group in honor of the French Holiday, All Saint's Day, which of course is in keeping with what I have been telling the Boss for ages....I am a SAINT.....

I fear that our cause for freedom is not going too well, it seems we get away, but end up caught. I'm not sure why, it could be because we cannot run....last month 86 got away but were found in a high school, and another group got away only to be caught lazing around a swimming pool...c'mon guys...lets get smarter....I guess old habits die hard. We spend eternity standing in a garden, and when we finally escape, we go stand somewhere else....duh....

Uh-oh!! I just heard the Boss get up...shhh...I gotta go!!




Marcello...., the Boss here, I pulled myself up off my sick bed to see what you were up too, and this is what I find??? Using The View From Silverhorn Mountain to propagate your freedom cause....You better be careful...you don't know how good you have it...did you know that this same group that you are touting as wonderful has claimed responsiblity for the 1997 "disappearance" of some 150 gnomes. Disappearance....think about that....and that's not all, in 1998, a "mass suicide" of gnomes in eastern France was attributed to your group of "Garden Gnome Liberators"
They were hung by their little cement necks under a bridge, their little cement bodies swaying in the wind.... a letter found taped to one of them said, "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration."


Hmmm...pretty decoration Marcello...who ever said you were pretty....anyone seen my rope...?

Going "Squirrelly"

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to the Lodge. Well, Halloween is over, and we are getting back to normal around here.....yeah right...like we were ever normal, we have gnomes that write blogs, play guitar and look up the female guest's dresses...oh yeah, we're normal.

While I am not positive, because I haven't had the nerve to get too close.....it seems our new next door neighbor's wife hasn't been wearing a hideous mask after all....because she has looked downright frightful since they moved in about 2 months ago. I thought she must be a Halloween fanatic....

Anyone who visits and actually reads The View From Silverhorn Lodge regularly knows that we have a theory that something is going on with the animals....(maybe I should have posted this on Halloween...oops)

Reports of strange animal behavior are becoming commonplace, take for example this next one from Oil City, which for the unwashed among us, is located about 75 miles from Pittsburg, which for the completely unwashed, is in the United States...and if you don't know where the United States are, you better go get washed...there is nothing for you to see here....anyway, it seems Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel who obviously went....wait for it.....'squirrelly' Ha! what did you think I was gonna say, he went 'postal' c'mon, give me some credit....

"It was a freak thing. It was traumatic," Dougherty said. "I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me."

The animal ran up her leg and onto her back. The charming postal worker grappled with the squirrel and grabbed it's tail, pulling it off her back. She was taken to the hospital and treated for cuts and scraps, she also is now receiving rabies shots as a precaution.

The nasty little squirrel, who went by the name Chippy, was dispatched to the great oak forest in the sky by a BB gun...his remains were sent to the lab for testing...

Postal officials (here we go again with the 'officials') said the attack is extraordinary....hmmm...wow...what an extraordinary way to sum it up.....

We contacted an official of the "Squirrels gone bad" amateur video group here on Silverhorn Mountain, who said it was probably a case of mistaken gender identity because of the postal uniform, after all, it's not unusual for a squirrel to go after nuts...

In other news, it seems moose, which normally have a kind of well...dumb look about them, may in actual fact be getting smarter. It seems a young bull moose in South Dakota jumped a fence and tried to blend in with some cows...he put his head down and started chewing on some grass...he managed to hide out for 4 days and nights. It looks like he may have intended to stay with the cows until moose hunting season was over.

The cows, always an accepting group, accepted the moose, who wouldn't leave....at least not until an official 'moose trapper' from the Game, Fish and Parks Department fired a gun in the air to scare him off.....it worked, the moose broke down the fence and disappeared...now 'officials' from the Dept of Agriculture, Chicken, Turkey, Garden and Cow Farms are looking for a herd of terrified cows....who it is believed may be hiding with the moose.

From the I AM STUPID FILES, poor old Thomas Connolly, 49, of
of Scarborough, Maine, was arrested by South Portland police after he was seen wearing Middle Eastern garb and a Bin Laden mask and carrying fake dynamite standing along an interstate highway. When police arrived, they saw Connolly holding a gun....uh-huh...the gun was fake too....

In a video later released, some say through al-jazzera, Bin Connolly said he was protesting a planned change in local tax rules....uh-huh...he also said he didn't think he would be arrested...he was of course, and charged with criminal threatening, he should have been charged with being stupid in a public place....

When last seen, Connolly was coming out of a Halloween costume shop with a whitetail deer costume and fake antlers, and was heading off to the Maine Woods to protest the deer hunt....

In the World I Am Stupid category, officials from Bangkok's film industry have come down hard on Rambo...yup...Rambo...they told the makers of the next Rambo sequel planned to be filmed in Thailand next year, to avoid excessive violence....what? They obviously don't know who they are messing with here...this is Rambo!! He's blown up/shot up and sliced and diced up half of Southeast Asia in past movies...have ya seen any of his previous films????....if they cut out the excessive violence, there won't be enough left for a 15 second "Got Rice" commercial...

Get this...the Thailand 'official' was actually quoted as saying "I think it will help boost the country's image as a relaxing and nice place to stay," I ask again...have ya seen any Rambo movies????????????? Nothing more relaxing than laying on a beach in Thailand while Rambo is blowing up the bad guys all around you....

The 'officials' also think the movie might help promote Thailand as a great place for wealthy westerners to live out their retirement years...er months...ahh...weeks...hmmm....days....

The new movie will be called, "Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye," the renegade Vietnam veteran played by Sylvester Stallone comes out of retirement in Bangkok to track down missionary aid workers who disappear in the jungles of military-ruled Myanmar. Lucky aid workers, if I was kidnapped and held hostage by crazy terrorist thugs, I would rather see Rambo coming to save me than Sue Thomas, FBI....although, Rambo must be about 90 years old by now...that might slow him up some....

Now get this, we have to start a new category called I Am A Frigging Crazy Weirdo..or Strangely Erotic, depends on your point of view I guess...in a little burg called Stuart,or is it Stewart? Florida, a man entered a home and helped himself to a little jam...not strawberry jam...nope...it was toejam...he allegedly licked the left toe of a sleeping woman...I'm not making this stuff up folks...

The woman's husband, who by the way, was sleeping beside her, chased the man out of the house and down the street, but the toe jamb sucker got away. He was described as wearing a black, hooded sweat shirt, white shorts and white shoes...yeah just like that outfit you had on the other night....

The lady has taken the advice of police and is now sleeping with crocs on her feet...not because they are "soooo comfortable" She is just making sure no one finds her feet attractive....

If caught, the culprit will be nailed...or he could face a hangnail jury....hmmm...I am gonna have to work on that one...

For those of you wondering, it was the big toe....

Todays Quote - "There's no nuts on this tree" - Chippy, the recently deceased Oil City Squirrel.

Today's bonus quote- "Huh..violence? It's a love story with an explosive ending." _ Rambo to Thailand officials concerned about excessive violence in his planned movie.

Don't forget, you need one of these Shirts!!