Apparently I Need to Learn College Level Physics

Hey Silverhorners, welcome up to the View From Silverhorn Mountain. It's been rather busy here since our last post about the discovery of another planet loosely called 581c that scientists are theorizing might be able to support life. If we could get there.

The best part about blogging can be the comments, however few and far between they might be. Yesterday's "new planet discovered" blog attracted a comment. Yippee, and what's more it made me laugh, which I think is a bonus.

One of our visitors, Mike from "Blogger Profile Unavailable" said, and I quote,
"You really should take a college level physics course before you try poking holes in things you haven't the slightest bit of knowledge about." Mike, I sit here at the keyboard humbled that you have the time to post a message to my blog. Most people come here looking for nude pictures of U.S. Air Force Sargeant Michelle Manhart, or to hear what Marcello, a cement garden gnome here at the lodge has to say, but you have come looking for college level physics....

Well done Mike, you broke me up. Now this means one of two things to me, either you would like us all to know that you have taken a college level physics course and truly understand the universe, given that you are implying...no saying outright, that I don't know anything about physics, or you are a comedian and knew that a comment like that, suggesting for a minute, that you believed the foolishness I say in this blog and think I am serious is very funny. Making fun of yourself is called self deprecating humor and it can be very effective. I think you pulled it off.

On the other hand, if you are not kidding, and really believe I was legitimately trying to poke holes in the whole planet travel theory, I sit here worried about the state of mankind if our "college level physics educated bloggers without profiles" are unable to fathom that this blog is entirely foolish, full of made up facts, and for all intents and purposes utterly useless information. That is why I write it, and I assume why several people read it everyday. Mike, buddy...you are telling me off why? Because I don't understand physics and how we are going to fly people to a planet 120 trillion miles away, or because you feel the need to be heard but have no actual blogger ability yourself?

This is the View From Silverhorn Mountain Mike, we are notorious for our reporting, much like the National Enquirer and some of the other well known print media.

Before I put this one to bed, I would like to extend to you Mike, an opportunity to write a post, explaining the college level physics that I don't understand, and perhaps how you can prove all the new planet information that was released yesterday, and explain how we can all take a 120 trillion mile flight there. Email it to me and I will gladly print it with an appropriate credit to you. In return for your explanation of space travel, super telescopes etc, I will teach you how to enable your blogger profile so you can start blogging yourself.

Speaking of college level physics, there are a couple of scientist types who are issuing us fair warning that when the aliens come, they won't be friendly and we should prepare to fight using techniques like those used by the insurgents in Iraq....I kid you not. Reuters has a story about Travis Taylor and Bob Boan who have written An Introduction to Planetary Defense: A Study of Modern Warfare Applied to Extra-Terrestrial Invasionto give us an idea of what to do when the aliens land.

Talk about your college level physics, Travis Taylor apparently has advanced degrees in astronomy and physics and is an associate at Booz Allen Hamilton. He and Bob Boan have done consulting for the U.S. Defence Department and the U.S. Space Agency, other wise known as NASA.

If their credentials are to be believed, these two must know what they are talking about, (I bet Mike would understand them) Someone asked why, if there are aliens out there capable of getting here, why haven't they come yet. The learned scientist's answer seems very scientific, something to the effect that the aliens just haven't found us yet.....shhh...shut the lights out...they are looking for us....

Now on to other things. In our continuing Animals On the Lamb series, a pregnant cow in Berlin gave police and fire fighters a run for their milk the other day when she, hereinafter known as "Bessie the Pregnant Cow" went on bit of a tirade, trampling benches, garden fences and anything else that got in her way. Police, fire fighters and television crews and the farmer in Hanover, Germany chased her for three hours before bringing her to the ground with tranquilizer darts.

Not to worry though, Bessie slept it off, her unborn calf is fine, and the farmer is out about 25,000 euros after he pays for all the damage.

Well, that's it from Silverhorn Mountain tonight, thanks for dropping in!

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New Planet Discovered

Hey Folks. Welcome up to The View From Silverhorn Mountain. I hope you are doing great as Spring finally comes upon us with a little warmer weather and some sunshine, at least where I am....

I just came across an article written by SETH BORENSTEIN, AP Science Writer that is hot off the presses, telling us that astronomers have discovered a planet outside of our solar system that could possibly support life. According to the article, the planet, called 581c which loosely translated is pronounced Five-Eighty-one-see and means..um..newly found planet....

The astronomers who discovered the planet say it's just the right size, might have water and is only a short commute at about 120 trillion miles away. Unfortunately the sun it orbits is smaller and cooler than ours, but, regardless of what the real estate agent says, you can't have everything when you are looking to move to a new neighborhood.

Now pay attention folks, this is where it gets a little complicated, the planet was discovered by the European Southern Observatory's telescope in La Silla, Chile. That scope has a gizmo that "splits light to find wobbles in different wave lengths" Exactly what I thought.... and it's those very same wobbles that reveal the existence of other worlds which is also exactly what I thought...could it be that the wobbles are caused by a little too much venus juice in the punch?

All I know is that it must be some freakin' telescope the Boys From Brazil...ah..no the Boys From Chile are using, better than the one I use here at the Lodge to observe passing satellites on a clear night.

One of the things that amazes me about astronomy is the imagination that must be required to do that job....I mean, how else can you explain what these folks can figure out looking through a telescope. They say that the new planet is circling a red dwarf star, that goes by the name Gliese 581. Somehow they know that these stars are low-energy, and last longer than other stars, obviously because they are low energy. That is why I always tell my wife I am going to live longer than others, I am low energy....

Scientists are going to start looking at all the other planets with dim stars, (they should turn the telescope on planet Hollywood) because they have new hope for the other 80 percent of the stars near earth that are red dwarfs...you do know what this means don't you......? Yeah, you say you do, but do you?

Anyway, I digress, back to the Magic Telescope....Through this fabulous instrument scientists can also figure out that the new planet is five times heavier than earth....huh? C'mon...not only do they want us to believe they know how much earth weighs...they also want us to believe they know how much a star 120 trillion miles away weighs...and they also are trying to convince us they know how many trillion miles away it is....man...this is some telescope....

This of course is all theory and could be wrong, look how long we thought the moon was made of cheese....however, the popular theory is that Planet 581c could have an atmosphere, and if it does, it might be too hot or too cold. But, forever the optimists, the astronomers believe the average temperature is somewhere between 32 and 104 degrees. Hmmm...sounds great...

The astronmers say that they will eventually find more planets like 581c...again...how do they know that?

If you go....remember, it's 20.5 light years away, so better start banking some vacation time now.

Might pay to pack some diet pills because the astronmers say you will get heavier fast, and because it orbits it's sun every 13 days you are going to age quickly. Gravity on planet 581c is 1.6 times stronger than earth's so you are going to walk a little slower and need a good pair of lightweight shoes.
Although scientists have figured out how much it weighs, how far away it is, what the temperature likey is, and other stuff that I find a little hard to swallow, they can't figure out how to get there in a lifetime....so that might be something to consider, talk about your long car drives....

Don't forget to check out Marcello's Garden Gnome Stuff!
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Cell Phone Virus Completely Baseless

Hey Ho Silverhorner's! A hundred thousand welcomes!
We've come across one for the "I AM Stupid" files, tonight, all the way from Karachi, which is kind of a neat place name don't you think? Might even make a good name for someone, perhaps my next born...."Hey Karachi! Come here! I want you to see something...bring your sister, Akookarachi!....hmmm...why does that remind me of a song....?

Ok enough digressing, here's what we got. It seems that cell phone owners in Pakistan have been calling their mobile phone service providers trying to find out if there is any truth to the rumor that they could die from a deadly virus that can be transmitted to them through the phone....I wonder if a cell phone user in Pakistan who calls his cell phone company gets a call centre in North America? Uh-oh, digressing again...sorry about that chief...

This tall tale was so effective that even some mosques were making announcements warning people to be aware of God's Wrath coming via cellphone, which I suppose is possibe, after all it is God....I wonder if he has a cell? I know this sounds unbelievable, but it's true. The cell companies made a joint announcement to the effect that "These rumors are completely baseless. They do not make any sense in technological terms." Of course they are, and if you believe any of them for a second you belong over here!

Uh-huh...sure...well...I gotta go, if you need me, give me a call, use my land line please...my...um...ah...cellphone is broken.....

And now...time for something totally unrelated to cell phone virus's....If you are like me, you know that mosquito and tick season is just around the corner and it's time to get prepared, that's why I am washing everyday with FaceDoctorX Anti-Mosquito Soap,containing only 100% herbal extracts! It leaves my skin soft and supple, and mosquito bite free! So far I haven't had one mosquito bite since I started using this stuff...which of course was only this morning and I haven't been outside....






Check out Marcello's Garden Gnome Stuff!
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An Asprin A Day Keeps The Doctor Away!

Hey Silverhorner's ! Welcome to Silverhorn Lodge, c'mon in, no need to take off your shoes, we haven't washed the floors since 1989 when the broom broke.....

It's funny how more and more of the old sayings are being proven true by science. For example, the old standby saying, "An Asprin A Day Keeps The Doctor Away" seems to be a fact. Reuter's Health are reporting that the regular use of aspirin, is associated with a lowered incidence of cancer and cancer related deaths, including former smokers, ad those who never smoked, which is pretty good news for former smokers who get very little good news in the run of a day...

This announcement was made at the annual gathering of the American Association for Cancer Research, (AACR) by none other than Dr. Aditya Bardia of the world famous Mayo Clinic College of Medicine (MCCOM)

Of course asprin use can cause other not so good stuff like gastric bleeding, so like everything else, talk to your doc before you start gulping asprins as a health supplement.

The study found regular use of asprin was associated with a 16 percent lower risk of cancer and a 13 percent lower risk of dying from cancer.

This added to readily accepted fact that asprin helps protect against heart disease means it might be a good time to buy some asprin stock.

By the way, I think the saying is actually, "An apple a day...." but then, you knew that didn't you?


Check out Marcello's Garden Gnome Stuff!
asprin
asprin
cancer
asprin research
heart disease

Don Imus Gets Sacked

Hey Silverhorner's! I'm back after yet another long absence. This time I have no excuse other than I have been busy with some other projects, and of course my job which unfortunately takes up a little more of my time than I like....

But I figured it was time I got back to the Silverhorn Lodge, especially with all the Don Imus talk going on, figured that some of you would be waiting to hear from me....well...not really...

Don Imus for the uninitiated among us, is or now, was, an American radio personality in the vein of the shock jock style, though probably not quite as "shock jockey" as Howard Stern. Don is an old fella by the look of him, in fact he's in his mid 60's and looks pretty worn out sometimes, but hey, it's radio...or rather, it was radio..now it's called unemployment...

Don Imus justifiably got fired this week from his job at WFAN-Am radio for making racial and sexist remarks on air regarding members of the Rutgers University Women's Basketball Team.

It's interesting to note he wasn't fired immediately by his station, instead it wasn't until major sponsers started pulling their advertisements that the station gave the veteran radio guy the cowboy boot. Is that saying that the advertisers didn't care until the consumers, their customers started to speak up? I have seen Don Imus on Larry King and occasionally in other media venues over the years and was aware of who he is, but only generally, never having heard his radio show. However, what I had heard usually left me wondering how come he was so famous in the first place, but as I said, I have never heard his show. I know from his appearances on Larry King, or other talk shows that he has a ranch for sick children somewhere that I think does quite a bit of good for the kids, otherwise, don't know much about him.

Radio, like television and newspapers and other media rely on advertisers to make money, and to them advertisers call the shots. To some degree there is something inherently wrong in that, because it means that commercial reasons dictate what we as listeners hear. But on the other hand, in this case for example, the advertisers decided this was something we didn't want to hear, and pulled it, which is good, kind of like democracy at work.

What is amazing is that a fellow with 40 years on air experience could be so stupid as to say what he did, on air or anywhere for that matter. You don't get $10 million a year contracts as a DJ by being stupid. At least I didn't think you did...perhaps this is proof otherwise. Maybe stupid is what gets a person $10 million contracts, explaining why I cannot get a job like that...I'm just too damm smart.

But is Don stupid? Or is he a product of recent cultural shifts, but perhaps not quite able to understand how it works. I think it is becoming a problem of our society that we are wrestling with expressions and words like the ones he used that got him sacked.

As a child of the 60's and 70's and 80's and 90's and the present...(I haven't grown up yet) I was taught that some words and descriptions were not only inappropriate, but perhaps shouldn't exist in our vocabulary at all and as such I grew up with that perspective, like many of my friends.

However, recently I've noticed more and more unacceptable words creeping back into society, and in some circles, with acceptance. All you have to do is listen closely to some popular music styles, to hear words and expressions that would never have made the airwaves not so long ago. Why is that? I don't know? Is there some unwritten rule that as long as it is sung it's ok? Is it because we have forgotten the lessons learned in years past, or not passed them on to our children?

Anyway, I am too long and too late weighing in on this one. Imus is gone, tough luck to him, it was a stupid thing to say. However I don't think we should forget him, instead we need to use his story and others like him, to open some dialogue and decide what is and isn't acceptable, and what word and expressions should come out of the english language altogether.

That's it for me. Back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow....