New York Subway Chicken Love

Although it's not my usual time to post, sometimes I just can't let something go by....and this is one of those times. Marcello, Chief Garden Gnome and Reasearcher here at Silverhorn has come across a news release that....well....we thought you might want to see....

It seems that New Yorkers love their chickens....I said chickens, as in live chickens, not fried chicken....(unlike Argentinians who apparently love pork) I make this claim based on a recent video showing a man playing with his chicken on the New York Subway....now please....let's be clear, I said a man playing with his chicken, not choking his chicken, or any other kinky thing that you might imagine....just playing with a chicken, a live chicken....it involved kissing....which makes me wonder....how can you kiss a chicken, they don't have lips....

Apparently Kylie Kaiser, a 27-year-old architect from Brooklyn was on the No. 6 train at the 33rd Street station at around 7 p.m. January 26th, just in time to see a guy laying on the subway floor on his back, rolling from side to side, kissing, hugging and lifting his chicken up in the air.....only in New York folks....only in New York.....

What makes this even more New York style is that according to the NYC Transit, nobody bothered to report the incident, leaving one to wonder  if this is just a typical day on the subway in New York, although animals are not typically allowed on the subway. However, Kylie Kaiser, knew a good thing when she saw it, and posted a vid clip of the chicken loving on her blog. Gotta love them bloggers, nothing gets by us.....
Kylie said, "I knew it would be a story people would want to hear." Yup....you are right, nothing like some chicken loving to bring a cluckle!



Of course no mention of Chicken Loving can be complete without mentioning the opposite, which is chicken fighting....and no mention of chicken fighting is complete without mentioning Chicken Fight from the television show Family Guy, where Peter and a chicken duke it out over a bad coupon.....


In other news, Osama Bin Laden, always good for a joke has recently released a statement blaming the United States for global warming....why not, he blames the U.S. for everything else....

Pass The Pork....to Me!

Hey Silverhorner's !! Welcome up to the Silverhorn on a cold winter day.....but don't worry, things are going to get a whole lot hotter around here because it's time for the Winter Porking Party at the Lodge, and you know what that means.....no? Well this is an annual event, when the long cold winter gets us down and we need something to pork us up! So we eat some....you guessed it...pork.....what you may not have known, but we have just learned, is that pork.....is better than Viagra....

Well it is, at least according to Argentina's President, the very foxy looking Cristina Fernandez who recently told a bunch of porkers pig farmers that she had a "satisfying" weekend with her husband after eating barbecued pork. According to Chris....we call her that around here, she just learned that eating pork improves your sex life, she went on to say that "it's a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra"

Uh-huh...so the lovely Pres like to eat the pork....I mean get porked I mean she enjoys pork....yes...yes YES!!! That's what I mean......

Actually, what really happened was that the pig farmers told her that eating pork was better than Viagra, to which she replied, that she had recently eaten some pork and " "things went very well that weekend, so it could well be true." Uh-huh...things went well that weekend...I bet they did. But here is the line I loved the most....when she said, "Trying it doesn't cost anything, so let's give it a go,"

We are a simple bunch of mountain folk, and we're game to try just about anything, so hearing the Argentinian President say that  prompted the Winter Porking Party! Marcello was butchering the biggest pig before I finished telling him about the porker's claims! It took me quite a bit of talking to calm down the farmer who actually owned the pig.....
 
Now...here is the thing...having seen this beautiful woman, I am pretty sure I could eat anything from pork to chicken to oily barn rags dipped in tartar sauce and still not need the little blue pill.....but just to be on the safe side, can you pass me the pork please....

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of seeing the lovely President, check out this short vid!

Terrortwits

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Osama Bin Laden would make a good 'twitterer' ? Twitters like to post little snippets that really don't say much, or can say alot, in one or two sentences, which go out to the world, and then fade away. That's not unlike the way the leader of the al Qaida organization likes to send messages, little notes about things, which go out to the world, and get everyone wound up for a few minutes, days or hours, then he backs off and we anxiously sit and wait for his next one. I call them "terrortwits"

I do that with a couple of twitterers that I follow, I read their one or two lines of wisdom, then sit back and think about it for a few days, and if it's really good sometimes I "re-tweet" it, and it goes out to an even greater audience. That is just how bin laden likes to do his communications.

In his latest, Bin Laden, makes a statement that says something along the lines of if the USA would get out of Palestine things would simmer down in the terrorist business, and at the same time he puts a spin on the failed Christmas airplane bomber attack that makes it seem like the failed attempt was in fact a sucess, which in some ways it probably was. It has at least kept us on our toes.

That's what bin laden's terrortwits are like, they keep us on our toes, something like the way the creators of Jaws the movie promoted their sequel, they used the line, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water." Well that's just about what bin laden does, just when we think things are calming down a little, he or one of his minions does something to stir the pot, and get things boiling again.

It's ingenious really, sitting back in his comfy cave somewhere along the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, spending months working on his next one or two line statement that always look so painfully thought out as he sits on the ground, assault rifle close by, and says something profound that succeeds in riling us up and getting the word out to his followers, who I call "Twits" to let them know that he is still alive and well and proud of them even when they screw up.....like a father of backward children who you know will never amount to much.....

You can read about bin laden's latest release in The New York Times Here!

Oops Sorry About That!

Hey Silverhorner! How are you, glad you stopped by....here is one from the "oops! Sorry about that buddy" files...apparently the Vancouver cops don't take lightly reports of domestic abuse, what they do take lightly is ensuring they have the right person before they start making arrests. It seems three Vancouver, Canada police officers responded to a call from a wife who said her husband had hit her. They arrived at the residence, knocked on the door, which was answered by one,Yaowei Wu, ( I love saying 'by one' it sounds so Law and Order) a 44 year old man living at the house.

When the person who answered the door tried to tell them he didn't know what they were talking about, or whatever you say in those kinds of situations, the coppers apparently dragged him outside and got into what best could be described as a 'melee' and what at worst could be described as a savage beating with Mr. Wu on the front lawn.

It seems these particular officers may not have done all their homework, because they failed to understand that there were actually two residences at the residence and Mr Wu lived in a different home in the same building. Wu was actually a tenant, apparently a tenant who appeared guilty or something.

In a statement to a Ming Pao newspaper, Mr Wu said, "The cops didn't ask clearly -- not even ID me or anything -- before they started beating me," He went on to graphically describe his 'visit' from Vancouver's finest, by saying,  "My T-shirt was torn, I was beaten for quite a while before I was handcuffed. I felt pain to my head and body. When I touched my head and face with my hands ... I felt my hands were all wet ... they were full of blood."

So....when things finally got sorted out, with the help of a Vancouver officer who spoke Canonese, Mr Wu's language,  Mr Wu had bruises to his head, waist and knees and fractured bones around his left eye. Sounds like he got a pretty good working over.....The police chief, Jim Chu, dropped by Mr Wu's place and gave him a personal apology, and promised a thorough investigation. In my opinion, nothing less than a thorough investigation is warranted in this situation. The other guy, the one who had allegedly struck his wife, had apparently left the home, he was rounded up and arrested later....no word on the extent of his arrest injuries if any.....

You can read the story  Here

Wow...after that stressful story...we need to relax....I think this Eric Clapton video is appropriate:

Bobsledding Into History !

Hey Silverhorner! How are you tonight? Cold? I bet...it's frrrrrigginggg f-f-f-f-reezing here on the mountain....cold...it goes right through ya....I guess the only thing to do is get some human bed warmers! That's what you get if you stay at a London, England,  Holiday Inn ! A human bed warmer....now that...is quality customer service.

The cold London nights will be no longer, at least not in the hotel, because they are sending a staff member dressed in a one piece fleece sleeper suit to crawl under your covers and warm things up for you.....uh-huh. When you come to bed, your fleecy buddy gets up and leaves, and you tuck into 20 degree Celsius (68 Fahrenheit) cozy comfort. Now that....is living the life.....Think I'm making this up? Read the story, Hotel Bedwarmers

And from the Just Too Funny To Let Pass files, here is British bobsledder Gillian Cooke at the start of the first run in the bobsled World Cup competition in St. Moritz. Oh those British....oh spandex pants....

I bet Gillian was glad to slip into a nice warm bed at the Holiday Inn after that one....especially if it was one with a fleecy human bed warmer.

Yes...well....not funny to laugh at other's misfortune, on the other hand, there are not too many bobsledders in the world as famous as Gillian Cooke is tonight....in fact, she is the only bobsledder whose name I know.....

So to bring you back to earth, normality and some semblence of dignity, I picked this next video clip from the extensive archives here at the Lodge....actually I got it on YouTube....

Coconut Juice Gets Driver Juiced With Police and more news....

Hi Ho Silver...Horners! How are ya doing tonight? I'm glad....you look lovely dawling...I love that shade of purple on you....welcome back to The View From Silverhorn Mountain!

C'mon in and sit down, have a read, I'll get Marcello to pour us a nice glass of coconut juice. That is as long as you are not driving, specifically to Bangor, Maine because police in Bangor are cracking down on people driving under the influence of coconut juice....yup...read the release  coconut juicer juiced by Bangor Police  Actually a Honduran "national" a label that completely escapes me....what's a national? If you are from Honduras, and living in another country, wouldn't you be an international? Not that it matters, at least not to the Bangor National Police who nabbed the guy on January 10th for drinking and driving, his story, he said he was drinking coconut juice....

Tough times in London
I say old chap, have you heard about London? Always famous for pubs and clubs as well as British Bobbies, London Fog and Buckingham Palace, it seems that things are going to tighten up in the already rather tight British answer to New York City....they've a bunch of new rules to live by, including a ban on drinking games, which are always fun...we play them here on the weekends, although for some reason, a drinking game with coconut juice just doesn't seem to be as much fun...but anyway, in London, if you've a hankering to play "dentist chair" which to me sounds dreadfully painful, you better do it quick. New laws are to be implemented to put an end to all the frivolity in an attempt to sober up the apparently well lubed Londoners. Along with the loss of such great games as the dentist chair, "all you can drink nights" are going away too, as well as "women drink free nights" which have always proven to be delightful anytime I have been lucky enough to wander into downtown London. (see video below for dentist chair)

Fans of the dentist chair can take heart though, the new rules only apply in clubs and pubs, you'll still be able to get properly "sconched" with loads of cheap "coconut juice" (as we have taken to calling it hear on Silverhorn Mountain,) from the local supermarkets, they will be exempt from the new regulations. In fact, might be an opportunity for a new spin on grocery shopping, instead of "shop till you drop" it could be "shop till you pass out and fall down" or "midnight madness sales" could take on a whole new meaning!

All this is because the "Home Secretary" which is an interesting title to say the least, wants to put an end to the wildness of London pub life, while still allowing the less fortunate folks in London to get blitzed cheaply from the supermarket, thus forgetting the miserable existance they live as a chimney sweep or nanny to spoiled rich kids.....what...that's what the folks in London do isn't it? Chimney sweep?

Home Secretary Alan Johnson, "Al" to his buddies, "Home Secretary Johnson" to the rest of you, said he isn't out to target low income drinkers, but he is coming down on the bars and clubs that hold the big drinking free for alls, from now on it's coconut juice at home in the Lazy Boy Chair!

And in our Guns Save Lives news, a Roseville, California driver, was thankful to have his pistol handy when his Sports Utility Vehicle plunged into a creek, after he was startled by his hands free cell phone....startled by his hands free cell phone....yes I said that twice.....so you would think about it for a second.....how did it startle him? Jump out of his pocket? They are after all hands free....and with the new technology these days....anyway, his phone managed to startle him and he drove off the road, through a guard rail and into the creek. But fortunately he wasn't just any startled cell phone using driver, he was a armed security guard at a casino outside of Sacramento.....OK now I am worried....an armed guard is startled by his cell phone????  After our hero landed in the creek he somehow got jammed up in his vehicle as it started sinking but being a resourceful, albeit startled armed guard, he used his gun to shoot his way out of the vehicle to safety. A nice happy ending to an otherwise upsetting story.

I guess this should be filed under Hi Honey I'm Home !
Which is probably not what a Pennsylvania man said when he arrived home to find a guy had broken in, gave himself a haircut and fried up some chicken. When the homeowner came in, the "perp" was watching TV and cooking up some chicken....what would you say in that situation? "How was your day?"  At least it was a clean criminal, he took a shower in the guy's house too.....c'mon in, make yourself at home......

For those of you wondering, here is a clip of some fun loving alcoholics playing dentist chair......


Speaking of the dentist chair....I know I get on to something and can't let it go, here's an old clip from The Carol Burnett show featuring Tim Conway and Harvey Korman in The Dentist Chair.


Tim Conway is a comedic icon as far as I am concerned and now in his late 70's still continues to tour, he's got a website too...who doesn't these days..... Tim Conway.com Harvey Korman, passed away in 2008, of complications from a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm.

Fox Hunting In 2010

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to The View From Silverhorn Mountain! Things were happening here today, it's the annual Silverhorn Fox Hunt! An exciting day on the mountain for those who partake in the sport, not so good for those who don't many of whom stay inside on this day, with their heads down, waiting for it to be over.

Now before you say it, I know what you are thinking, "fox hunting is barbaric," and it was even banned in England, so that now foxes roam free and relaxed through the English countryside, dining with impunity on the farmers chicken, eggs and occasionally veal, while the hunters and farmers are left to stand by and watch....gone are those exciting royal days when hunky hunters and sexy huntresses in the traditional fox hunt riding garb of red coats white tight pants, black riding helmets and big boots rode beautiful big hunting stallions roughshod over the farms, fields and thru the "wood" chasing the wily fox behind a pack of ravenous howling hunting hounds in a day of fun filled thrills that usually ended in a big party back at the castle, often with some maidens from a nearby village along for the party, where everyone except perhaps the fox celebrated the day afield....Nope that's not what it's all about anymore....today fox hunting has taken on a whole new meaning.....

Picture from pictureisunrelated.com

Dumb Criminal

he boss wasn't going to post again today, but when I saw this video clip....well...what can ya do. I convinced him that some stuff is just too good to save....this falls into the dumb criminal category and is further proof
that crime doesn't pay criminals are dumb....

The dumb criminal's name is Travis Copland, he's 19, and he tried to escape police by jumping out a window at a court room. He didn't have a plan obviously, because the glass was bulletproof and dumb criminal proof too. Good thing, had the glass broken he would have fallen into a street and probably been run over.....

Marcello

This Post Is Boaring

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome to he View From Silverhorn Mountain! Today is a great day, it's Saturday and it's also Animals In The News Day, a feature we haven't had for awhile. I apologize if you find today's animal story boring....that's because it is....it's about wild boars on the loose in England!

Yup, seems like a herd of wild boars which originally escaped from a truck in 2004 and have now grown in number, are now roaming wild through the woods, fields and even the villages in a place called "The Forest of Dean" which I assume means it belongs to someone named "Dean".  England hasn't had a wild boar on the loose for some 3 centuries, so these critters are coming as something of a surprise to the villagers....(Ever notice how it's always "villagers" who are terrorized, I think villagers get terrorized far more than city folk....)

The boars are not boring, far from it really. In fact as the roam the English countryside, they are raiding rubbish bins, attacking dogs, digging up stuff and causing havoc in ways that only a herd of wild boars can cause havoc. This emerging situation is made worse because the villages garbage collection has been delayed of late, and that means there are lots of opportunities for the wild boars to get their groove on.

 In a report from Reuters, wild boar expert, Ecologist Martin Goulding, who holds a doctorate degree in Wild Boar Ecology, (something I always wanted) said that boars like to scavenge, "scavenging was a natural activity for the porcine raiders and that a rich harvest of food from the bins will encourage more boar to target trash cans."

Expert Goulding said that it wasn't a good idea to provoke the boars......uh-huh...that....is why the world needs  more experts to be interviewed....to tell us important stuff that we otherwise wouldn't understand....such as...there is a herd of wild boars raiding my garbage...they each weigh about 440 pounds...I think I will go out and slap a few on the butt....get them out of my garbage......

Apparently the villagers are divided on what to do about these boars...there are some who want to kill them off, get rid of them, then there are others, like the Expert, Goulding, who think that the boars are a natural creature, indigenous to the area and therefore have a right to live in the area. This apparently inspite of the attacks on villagers dogs and property....Those folks think that it's Ok to leave the boars alone to roam the Forest of Dean and the assorted villages....

Here on Silverhorn we were once terrorized by a herd of squirrels that got into the steroids at the Silverhorn Village Body Building Store....it was a little nuts around here for awhile.....

Well....they are villages and everyone village has one.......

Read the real story: Wild Boar Raids Anger Residents

Fly Naked ! Skip The Full Body Scan !

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome to The View From Silverhorn Mountain....

Well the "view" might be getting a little better or worse depending on your um...modesty. We've been considering security around here these days and there has been some discussions about adding a full body scanner at the door, you know, the kind of   Naked Body Scanners Coming To Airports to stem the influx of terrorists boarding airplanes following the latest fiasco when the Nigerian man tried to blow up a plane flying from Amsterdam to Detroit Christmas Day.

Turns out that particular terrorist had traded in his regular jockey's  for a pair of explosive underpants! Ah-Ha! Explosive underpants....now there is a concept that bears thinking about....

So in order to keep the wearing of explosive undies in check, airport officials are adding full body scanners to the arsenal of tools for keeping terrorists off airplanes. It's starting in Vancouver, but the intention is to install the scanners in 44 airports in total. Apparently, you won't have to submit to the scan, you can choose a full body pat-down search instead, which can be much more intrusive, or fun, depending on your point of view and who is doing the pat-down....Officials are saying not everyone will qualify for a scan, only those of us, (and I say, "us") who look suspicious or are in some way picked for the extra scrutiny....look out you hot looking women, because if I am on security detail...well....you need a scan and a pat-down...

These scanners cost around $200,000 each, and will all be in place by March. Wouldn't it be cheaper to just ban the wearing of underwear on planes? Or clothes for that matter ?  Fly Naked, no waiting, no security scans or pat-downs, no trouble at customs, just grab your ticket, doff your clothes and hop aboard! Fly first class and we give you a towel to sit on....

Fly Naked Ring

Ron James Canadian Comedian

Hey Silverhorners! Welcome back to the Silverhorn Lodge, located high on the side of majestic Silverhorn Mountain, overlooking shimmering Silverhorn Lake!

A long time ago, when the Lodge, and I were young, a handsome young fella and his Dad used to visit here at Silverhorn Lodge for a couple of days of deer hunting, chasing the elusive Silverhorn Whitetail Deer, for which this lodge was named....the whitetail deer of dreams folks, a huge majestic mountain buck, with long pointed antlers that reached the sky, and shimmered in any light, including the dark, with a silver gleam, that mesmerized the hunter, and gave the big buck time to disappear into the forest as mysteriously as he appeared.....he remains an enigma to this day, something like our own enigma, Marcello, Chief Garden Gnome here at the Silverhorn, he too appears and disappears, particularly when there is work to do....

But I digress...which is not unusual given my advancing years and wandering mind....back to what I was telling you...about a young deer hunter who used to visit....well that young fella's name was Ron James a good old Canadian Boy from Glace Bay, who had a hankering to hunt, and a hankering to make people laugh...well...we laughed at his shooting, which was subpar at best....but that wasn't the kind of laughing he had in mind. Instead, Ronnie had it in his Cape Breton Boy's head to hit the stage, run the ramparts, gaze into the camera and the eyes of an appreciative audience.....and he did!

Some of the details are sketchy, or "sketch" as the kids today like to say, but our investigation found that young Ron left Glace Bay on a cold, blustery, winter day in August and headed for the bright lights and warm nights of Toronto, Ontario,  where he cut his improv and acting teeth and lost several wisdom teeth, before he headed out to L.A. and the really big time....and then, not satisfied with entertaining 10 billion Americans, he made a round trip back to Canada, where he settled in and has become as much a Canadian Icon as the Meganser Duck....um....Canada Goose.....ummm....well he's an Icon to his folks and friends in Glace Bay......

Televison shows, specials, and even a series or two, such as the now forgotten fondly remembered Global Television sitcom "Blackfly" which he wrote and also starred in, playing the role of Benny "Blackfly" Broughton, became his stock in trade, along with sold-out one man comedy shows, that have even made it to the CBC on New Years Eve !

We're thinking about asking him up to the Lodge this year to work the Lounge, if we really had a lounge, not just a room with a couple of tables, an ice machine and a 26 inch floor model television...Marcello, our Entertainment Coordinator here at Silverhorn Lodge tells me Ron James shouldn't be too hard to get, apparently he is performing in the Yukon on January 31st 2010....Marcello says anyone playing a comedy gig in the bitter cold excruciatingly dark dreary frozen Yukon in the middle of winter should be pretty economical....

You can find out more about Canadian Comedian Ron James Here!!  And you can get a taste of his humor in the following clip: